Encountered a friendly Dremora. Turns out he loves money

32 Comments

  1. Lord0fHats

    “Do we do this?”

    “We are demons.”

    “Yeah but we want to murder people and shit, right?”

    “Sure. Sure. Or, maybe we’re even more evil than all the other demons because fuck that demon shit we can be bribed?”

    “That doesn’t make any sense.”

    “Neither do housing costs in a firy hellscape but I didn’t invent the economy!”

  2. luckydrzew

    Your god is fine, but have you heard of my god: Capitalism?

  3. jasonjr9

    The only thing more evil and insidious than an army of demons looking to wreak havoc on the world:

    *Capitalism*

  4. Maximus_Comitatense

    Just bribe them to like you.

    I can imagine the Dremoras saying the generic lines:

    “That’s not bad.”

    “You are full of it.”

    “Don’t talk such rot.”

    “That’s really funny.”

    “Please, no more!”

    “For you? Of course.”

    “I don’t get it.”

    Also, they will only tell you where the sigil stones are if they like you enough.

  5. crossbridge_games

    It lacks the “Sarcasm” option! [Sarcacsm]

  6. Cosmicswashbuckler

    If Martin didn’t want the oblivion crisis he shouldn’t have started it

  7. DlNOSAURUS_REX

    “What if y’all just, like, left?”
    “Oh, ok! Be seeing you.” *unintelligable Dremora screaming*

  8. and when diplomacy fails..

    “im gonna give you $5 to fuck off”

  9. Insert_Goat_Pun_Here

    Mehrunes Dagon when I turn all his armies against him by just promising to actually pay them a fair wage:

  10. Rizenstrom

    It would be funny if this was an actual option for a unique dremora but they just hated all the options and there was no way to succeed no matter what you do.

    Not enough games let you try to persuade someone but be destined to fail. It’s always straight to violence or somehow manage convince the devil that maybe he should be nicer, or just kill himself.

  11. 0rganicMach1ne

    Did he start at 46? Someone likes you.

  12. Threaten to let the Argonians pass through Cyrodiil to enter Oblivion.

  13. Cryptoking300

    Boethiah says if we make him Emperor of Tamriel he’ll stop the Oblivion crisis on day one.

  14. Timmah73

    Hey I’m the Sygial Stone repairman. Oh yeah I can’t do this here imma have to take this into the shop.

  15. Beerasaurus

    ” I’m gonna pay you 100 gold to fetch off.”

  16. deftoast

    MC: How would you feel if we started opening portals in your home world?
    Dremora: You know, I haven’t looked at it that way.

  17. cartridge_gg

    Money doesn’t bring you happiness… but every Dremora wants to find out for themselves.

  18. Ralphredimix_Da_G

    I’m getting PTSD flashbacks to my last D&D campaign where Carlos aka “Death” who played as Solrac the half-orc Paladin (bff’s with the DM) always wanted to diplo every random encounter. Hey look a giant sailing ship has pulled up alongside ours, let’s take our armor off and go aboard and be friendly! Roll perception.. 18, ok.. Uh.. The ship appears to be manned by bloodthirsty pirates.. they probably need some assistance, guys! They might have some information we need to complete this bigger story quest! I take off my armor and go aboard, what happens? Ok roll initiative.. Carlos you asshole!!

  19. bitey87

    Would you fuck-off back to your own realm for like, 39 bucks?

  20. Bigbeautifulmeme

    Could you take the helmet off for a sec i gotta check if you smile or frown when I’m about to tell a joke

  21. Expert_Edge_4329

    Hey now, Starlord (T’challa) talked Thanos outta SemiGenocide of the entire universe. Pretty sure the Hero of Kvatch can strike some kind of deal here in this other-worldy hellscape that is Oblivion!

  22. 3FtDick

    Dremora 1: I will crush you under my heel! Wait, how much you got there?

    Dremora 2: You know if we kill him we can keep ALL of his stuff, including the gold?

    Dremora 1: Shut up I’m negotiating!

  23. This looks like a Pathologic screenshot.

  24. vakomatic

    If you get your personality and fame really high, hostile NPCs won’t attack you right away. Those stats define your base disposition with NPCs. I’ve had conjurers ambush me in the wild just to say “good day!” And I just leave the conversation and keep walking. A few seconds later they turn hostile.

Write A Comment